Jan. 28th, 2008

nozenfordaddy: (Dysentary)
I had big plans, write a journal, make a list, find my life and myself and make changes. Big changes. Epic changes!

Life changing changes!

But that's proven to be a little like jumping off a cliff and building wings on the way down. Terrifying. And badly planned. armed with a list or not, how many people really just wake up one morning ready to go out and change.

Certainly not me.

Hell I wake up in the morning barely prepared to go make a pot of coffee.

Not that any of that is an excuse for inaction for the sake of resisting change. But there's only so much change a person can take all at once.

I moved into my new condo this weekend. With my normal military precision (some would say obsessive compulsive precision) it took three hours to move everything, and ten to unpack and put together new furniture from IKEA.

Mostly the latter.

I don't recognize my new stuff as being mine, don't feel like I'm home. I've confused my brain so every time I walk in I feel like I'm visiting. Staying in a hotel.

It's a little like how I feel in my life. Like I don't recognize myself. Its uncomfortable and lonely.

Strange that I didn't realize it until I'd moved and discarded all the old junk I'd acquired. I was living a metaphor and didn't even know it.

Action is about living fully. Inaction is the way we deny life. - don Miguel Ruis

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