![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
A Single Word
Jan. 7th, 2011 12:44 pmLast year I decided to try the word of the year resolution instead of making a list of things I felt like I should do but probably wouldn't. As a result instead of looking back on 2010 as a failure because I hadn't checked off the items on my list I looked back as the year came to a close and felt a sense of growth.
My word for 2010 was 'release', and I noticed as the year progressed that what i had intended it to mean, and what other people assumed it meant wasn't the way it manifested in my life.
Example: I am an extremely nervous driver. I don't like traffic, driving places I've never been, street parking, unprotected left hand turns or speed limits (I'm an enigma). Driving stresses me out, and when I started this I though - release the stress, just let other people be jackasses on the road and parking will sort itself out. And some that happened. Parking DID sort itself out. I was happier letting go of my frustrations with the speed at which people drove or missing a green light. But some of it - primarily the jackasses - I found I released the stress better by giving myself permission to call them jackasses.
Most people who encountered me randomly cussing out other drivers (and who knew about my word) would look at me and say 'release' and I would try to just let it go... but for me the act of simply saying the word jackass was the release.
As the year progressed there were more instances like this where release didn't mean 'let it go' it meant find a way to turn the pressure valve on my anxiety, it was permission to feel what I felt and express it.
It worked for me even though I'm not sure it would work for everyone so I've decided to do it again this year and pick a word that will guide me the way release did in 2010 and act as a touchstone.
Unlike last year I didn't make a list of potential words and mull them over, I let the word find me and I plan on letting it find its own definition instead of trying to force it to be what I think it should be.
My word for 2011 is: self.
My word for 2010 was 'release', and I noticed as the year progressed that what i had intended it to mean, and what other people assumed it meant wasn't the way it manifested in my life.
Example: I am an extremely nervous driver. I don't like traffic, driving places I've never been, street parking, unprotected left hand turns or speed limits (I'm an enigma). Driving stresses me out, and when I started this I though - release the stress, just let other people be jackasses on the road and parking will sort itself out. And some that happened. Parking DID sort itself out. I was happier letting go of my frustrations with the speed at which people drove or missing a green light. But some of it - primarily the jackasses - I found I released the stress better by giving myself permission to call them jackasses.
Most people who encountered me randomly cussing out other drivers (and who knew about my word) would look at me and say 'release' and I would try to just let it go... but for me the act of simply saying the word jackass was the release.
As the year progressed there were more instances like this where release didn't mean 'let it go' it meant find a way to turn the pressure valve on my anxiety, it was permission to feel what I felt and express it.
It worked for me even though I'm not sure it would work for everyone so I've decided to do it again this year and pick a word that will guide me the way release did in 2010 and act as a touchstone.
Unlike last year I didn't make a list of potential words and mull them over, I let the word find me and I plan on letting it find its own definition instead of trying to force it to be what I think it should be.
My word for 2011 is: self.
