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Oct. 26th, 2008 09:11 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
nozenfordaddyI had to travel for work recently and it brought up some old demons. Anyone who knows me knows that my dislike of travel is chronic. Particularly when I have to go alone, and have to go someplace I have never been. It borders on agoraphobia, only instead of not leaving my house I have trouble leaving the Sacramento valley. Even then I don't like going places I've never been or joining groups, taking classes etc where I don't know anyone.
In short, I am pathetic.
I know this and rather than embrace it and become a further reclusive hermit like freak I have decided to force myself out of my comfort zone - before I become a real agoraphobic.
So now that the 'evil test from hell that I am doomed to fail' is over until I find out if I passed or not in 13 weeks, seriously what are they doing it's a scantron, I am going to do a few things to get out and get over my fear (without aid of pharmaceuticals). Barring that, because we all know I'm far too crazy for it to be that easy, I'm getting out and facing my fears.
So this is the plan, (oh no not a plan miss I made a list and didn't do any of it), yes people - a plan.
I'm going to take a Yoga class - why yoga? Because aerobics doesn't sound like fun and dance sounds like something I will fail at. Yoga is stretching how much skill could it require? Also there is a yoga place near my house and within walking distance of a starbucks. Baby steps people.
Also maybe an art class. What kind of art? I have no idea but the Sac parks and rec catalog is full of stuff.
I signed up to do NaNoWriMo, otherwise known as National Novel Writing Month (November), and aside from actually writing something and attempting to make the word count. I have no idea what I'm going to write but I'm going to write it in public with strangers.
And in one culminating leap of faith I plan on going skydiving for my 30th birthday assuming I have the cash for it. I have wanted to go skydiving since I was fifteen and have never done it out of fear. I hate heights. Planes terrify me, despite my childhood desire to be a pilot. And there's something utterly idiotic about jumping out of a plane. I have always regretted not doing it every time I started to plan for it. So this is it. January. Me, some guy who knows what he's doing and a rapid exit from a perfectly good aircraft.
It's not a lot, but it's a start. I have let fear rule my life for long enough. I have not done, said or pursued things because of my fear. I have missed out on opportunities I wish I had taken. I have regretted decisions based on fear. I let someone I loved leave without asking them to stay. And frankly - I'm done.
Hi fear, I'm Heather - bite me. Unless you're a spider and then, yeah I'm comfortable staying afraid.
In short, I am pathetic.
I know this and rather than embrace it and become a further reclusive hermit like freak I have decided to force myself out of my comfort zone - before I become a real agoraphobic.
So now that the 'evil test from hell that I am doomed to fail' is over until I find out if I passed or not in 13 weeks, seriously what are they doing it's a scantron, I am going to do a few things to get out and get over my fear (without aid of pharmaceuticals). Barring that, because we all know I'm far too crazy for it to be that easy, I'm getting out and facing my fears.
So this is the plan, (oh no not a plan miss I made a list and didn't do any of it), yes people - a plan.
I'm going to take a Yoga class - why yoga? Because aerobics doesn't sound like fun and dance sounds like something I will fail at. Yoga is stretching how much skill could it require? Also there is a yoga place near my house and within walking distance of a starbucks. Baby steps people.
Also maybe an art class. What kind of art? I have no idea but the Sac parks and rec catalog is full of stuff.
I signed up to do NaNoWriMo, otherwise known as National Novel Writing Month (November), and aside from actually writing something and attempting to make the word count. I have no idea what I'm going to write but I'm going to write it in public with strangers.
And in one culminating leap of faith I plan on going skydiving for my 30th birthday assuming I have the cash for it. I have wanted to go skydiving since I was fifteen and have never done it out of fear. I hate heights. Planes terrify me, despite my childhood desire to be a pilot. And there's something utterly idiotic about jumping out of a plane. I have always regretted not doing it every time I started to plan for it. So this is it. January. Me, some guy who knows what he's doing and a rapid exit from a perfectly good aircraft.
It's not a lot, but it's a start. I have let fear rule my life for long enough. I have not done, said or pursued things because of my fear. I have missed out on opportunities I wish I had taken. I have regretted decisions based on fear. I let someone I loved leave without asking them to stay. And frankly - I'm done.
Hi fear, I'm Heather - bite me. Unless you're a spider and then, yeah I'm comfortable staying afraid.
